Saturday, January 10, 2004
As predicted they sent me away yesterday. For the second time in one week I went to Newark, NJ. I might as well buy a condo there! It was 2 degrees F. this morning and my heater was broken in the room. When I went to take a shower the water was non-existent. I called to the front desk and they said there was a small problem with the water pressure and that someone was working on it. I was just barely able to shave. NO SHOWER! I blended right in with New Jersey. You know the line..."Oh the glamorous life of an airline pilot." And this was a Wyndham Garden. Oh yea..in New Jersey...that's right...never mind.
On the way home I had an interesting realization. I was eating sunflower seeds around hour three of the flight and I was about to take a drink of apple juice. Now, I must confess, I eat sunflower seeds in a rather odd way. I eat both the seed and the shell together. That's right, the whole thing. I love the salt and the seed. If I eat the seed alone, it's like eating a nut. And you all know how I hate nuts. Of course you have to chew them up pretty good or you 'll pay for it the in the next couple of days, if you get my meaning. Now don't go trying to eat both just because I told you I do because I know your going to not chew them enough and get an obstructed bowel. Remember, I have spent years perfecting my technique. That's right, "I'm a professional." The next thing you know you'll be suing me because you weren't smart enough to chew'em up and you'll die and then I'll be in prison and they'll ask me why I'm in and I'll say "Obstruction" and they'll say "Obstruction of Justice?" And I'll say "No...Obstruction of Bowel" and they'll kick my ass then they'll be loven' me from dawn 'till dusk! For god sakes chew man chew!
Anyway...I was eating sunflower seeds and just before I took a sip, I realized this was one great tasting seed. I mean, really roasted and salty. It was like a pork rib without the fat, grease, bone and the really heavy set gal who thinks she's really hot just because she knows how to cook ribs. (If you've ever been to St. Louis, you know what I mean.) I gave it a few more chews and realized that if I had taken that sip, I would have ruined the whole experience. I mean, come on, sunflower seeds and apple juice are not really one of the legendary combinations of history. Suddenly, I wondered how many great "taste moments" in life I had ruined by drinking without thought of what flavor I was going to quash. (I always wanted to use the word "quash" in a sentence... yea baby... Kick ass!) From now on I will try to pay more attention to what my buds are doing before I hose down the flavor action at hand. Of course, about an hour earlier, I spilled ranch dressing down my tie and onto my crotch...but hey...you can't be cool all of the time!
On the way home I had an interesting realization. I was eating sunflower seeds around hour three of the flight and I was about to take a drink of apple juice. Now, I must confess, I eat sunflower seeds in a rather odd way. I eat both the seed and the shell together. That's right, the whole thing. I love the salt and the seed. If I eat the seed alone, it's like eating a nut. And you all know how I hate nuts. Of course you have to chew them up pretty good or you 'll pay for it the in the next couple of days, if you get my meaning. Now don't go trying to eat both just because I told you I do because I know your going to not chew them enough and get an obstructed bowel. Remember, I have spent years perfecting my technique. That's right, "I'm a professional." The next thing you know you'll be suing me because you weren't smart enough to chew'em up and you'll die and then I'll be in prison and they'll ask me why I'm in and I'll say "Obstruction" and they'll say "Obstruction of Justice?" And I'll say "No...Obstruction of Bowel" and they'll kick my ass then they'll be loven' me from dawn 'till dusk! For god sakes chew man chew!
Anyway...I was eating sunflower seeds and just before I took a sip, I realized this was one great tasting seed. I mean, really roasted and salty. It was like a pork rib without the fat, grease, bone and the really heavy set gal who thinks she's really hot just because she knows how to cook ribs. (If you've ever been to St. Louis, you know what I mean.) I gave it a few more chews and realized that if I had taken that sip, I would have ruined the whole experience. I mean, come on, sunflower seeds and apple juice are not really one of the legendary combinations of history. Suddenly, I wondered how many great "taste moments" in life I had ruined by drinking without thought of what flavor I was going to quash. (I always wanted to use the word "quash" in a sentence... yea baby... Kick ass!) From now on I will try to pay more attention to what my buds are doing before I hose down the flavor action at hand. Of course, about an hour earlier, I spilled ranch dressing down my tie and onto my crotch...but hey...you can't be cool all of the time!
// posted by Chris @ Saturday, January 10, 2004
Comments:
Post a Comment
