HawleyBlog

I've been working on the corral...(All the live long day!...I've been working on the Corral...Just to pass the time away...Sorry.) We have all the components for the corral but I needed to dig up the existing sides to move them to the new location. I had four days off so I figured that would do it. Wrong! The first day, I had to rent a 24 foot truck to bring the pieces (some of which are 21 feet long) to the property. They loaded them with a fork lift, I off loaded them with Lorna and my 12th Cervical Vertebrae which will never forgive me. Lorna had to leave early so I continued alone. I had to dig eight footings out of the ground. They were held in with two feet of concrete and some of the hardest dirt on the planet. Let's hope Mars is softer or that rover is in big trouble. I was able to free them but I couldn't get them out of the two foot holes they rested in. I could lift one side of the panel but the other would hold it in. The next day Lorna, with the help of a six foot piece of steel, was able to lever one end out of it's hole while I lifted the other side out. We had bought a sledge hammer that morning to break apart the concrete in preparation for mounting the side panels in a new location. Now, owning a sledge hammer is one of those male rites of passage and as a new home owner, I wasn't going to miss out. It's like when you make fire for the first time or kill a wildebeest bare handed. We don't have any wildebeest on our land, just an ornery peacock and I think they would arrest me if I killed it, so I had to buy a sledge hammer instead. I broke the first concrete footing away and everything inside was rusted and totally useless. after cutting away everything that was rusted, we had about a foot of material to work with and we needed three feet! We began engineering on the fly and visited many stores in search of sleeves and things but nothing would be strong enough. We ended up at American Fence and found some heavy gage pipe that would fit over our one foot so we bought eight 3 ft. lengths. Now we had to find a way to weld them on. The panels are too heavy and big to take somewhere and it would cost a fortune to have someone out to weld them for us on site so... in typical Tim the Toolman fashion, "I know, I'll get an arc welder!"

The Arc Welder...or how I almost lost the third toe on my left foot!

I went to Home Depot and got one of these little arc welders. Forget the sledge, this is way off the scale on the Macho-meter. "But Chris" you say, "you don't know how to weld." Duh! That's what the instructions are for. Jeezz! So I sat on a lawn chair in the middle of my field and read the instructions. Lorna was looking at me. I imagined her thinking "after he electrocutes himself, I bet I could get good chunk of change on Ebay for that welder."

After ten minutes of reading I was ready to master the world of metalworking. I practiced on a couple of scrap pieces and in ten minutes or so, managed to join one of the 80 pound concrete footings I dug up to the six foot piece of steel Lorna used to lift it out of it's hole. I thought it had a certain poetic justice to it. It all held together so I figured that qualified me as an expert. Now to the task at hand. I prepared myself for the big weld. Now when you weld, you're looking through very dark glass that is mounted in a shield. This welder came with a shield that I have to hold in one hand while I weld with the other. I know now why they invented the welding helmet. Welding gives off fumes that are not very healthy for you and with a helmet, they go around your face, with a shield, they tend to have a bit more access. Besides, I sure would have liked to have that other hand free. You don't see much while welding except for the blinding arc and the actual molten metal but I knew from the noises that Lorna was making that something pretty remarkable was taking place on the other side of that glass! Now, welding takes a lot of concentration. It is the "money shot" of metalworking. You can't just wipe the excess glue off and try again so you have to stay focused.

To clarify the picture at this point, I have to confess that lately I have had a case of "athlete's foot". So, I have been wearing sandals to keep the area dry. But, I realize that I have to protect my self from the sparks so I put a work boot on my right foot and a cotton sock on my Left with the sandal and pull the socks way up to my knees (I'm wearing shorts...hey, it's phoenix!) I have knee pads so I can kneel down to weld when I need to and a sweatshirt with long sleeves. With the face shield in place I look like a retarded goalie at the special Olympics hockey finals. I start in welding and the sparks start flying. Now let's think about this word...Sparks! It's such a friendly word. We call guys we know and little dogs sparky! They seem friendly. "Hey sparky!" "C'mon sparks, let's go for a walk!" But what we are really talking about is a ball of flying molten metal. If it was bigger we would call it a meteor! Even bigger, and it would be a Planet Killer (I saw that movie with Bruce Willis...Holy crap.) Well, one of these Planet Killers lands on the third toe of my left foot. After making it's way through the armored protection of my cotton sock, it hits the skin and really goes to work. Now, I'm welding. I can't let the pain pull my concentration away. Give it a second and it will stop. The blood in my foot will cool it or it will hit bone and rest for a while. At least I don't have to worry about Athlete's Foot in that area any more because the toe will be gone in another second or so. I start drifting in thought, If I was a prisoner of war and they were trying to make me talk by burning off my toes, I could just pretend that I was welding and I wouldn't mind it a bit. Got to stay focused...pain...Stay on the weld...Just a few seconds more...Luke, you've turned off you targeting computer! After a while the fumes from the weld eased the pain and I don't remember much after that.

All in all the welds turned out OK. When I said I haven't welded before, it's not entirely true. I have done O2/Acetylene welding some, but this is much more fun because of the sparks...Those damn killer sparks! I'm not going to tell you about the part where I started the hay on fire. I might start practicing and try to get better. I could start a little business..."Four Toes Welding". Cool. We hope to dig holes and mount sides today. I start work again tomorrow and I have to clean up the field. All except the concrete I welded to the six foot piece of steel. That thing's cool. I'm gonna mount it in the front yard. People will come by and say "that's an interesting piece." And I'll say "Yea, I did that in my impressionist period. It's available on Ebay, I call it... 'Man with four toes'!"