Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Waist not want not!
Some years ago, Britany Spears did something that would effect the earth in ways that could not be foreseen at the time. An act, so diabolical, that we now find ourselves completely blind-sided by it's controversial reprocussions. No I'm not talking about dating Justin Timberlake. Although that was pretty awful...She wore a shirt that was just a bit too small. I know what you're thinking...So what.
I whole-heartedly admit that I was entirely in favor of the shirt. This simple twist of stylistic fate revealed the barest slice of skin and, within that, one of the most perfect navels known to man since the day the navel was invented. I think it was on the eighth day that God created the navel...And he saw the navel and it was good! And is it any wonder that young girls worldwide have taken to immitating this element of expression. And again I say bravo! I mean who doesn't like a nice navel? After a while you couldn't swing a deat cat without hitten' a gal with an exposed navel. Not since Normandy have we seen such a navel invasion!(Oh, that was bad but I just couldn't resist)
Now, I'm as willing as the next guy to allow people the freedom of expression. I had the earrings, I had the long hair, I had the blond streak, I had the ripped jeans, I used to say the word "boss". So, I have no problem with the "belly-button-gone-wild" trend. However! Somewhere along the line, the origin of this trend was forgotten. Somehow, without my knowledge or consent, the idea got out that one need not take into consideration ones weight or skin tone prior to exercizing ones right to run with a bare midrift. And, when you are sitting at an airport, and up walks a 46 year old, 175 pound, tattooed divorcee' with a four inch roll of flabby cellulite hanging out the bottom of a size 6 tee shirt emblazon with the words "I'm What You Been Lookin' For", you know something has gone horribly wrong. And there is no...navel...in...sight! I mean, she's either a clone, or that poor navel is buried way under there.
The people I really feel sorry for (no, not the guy sitten' next to her on the plane...Although that would be pretty bad) are the Indonesians. I mean, they're the ones making the shirts. They work their poor hands to the nub trying to make that 23 cent shirt fit perfectly so that Walmart can charge that fat divorcee' $24 for it. That would really burn me up. I think it is time for the maddness to stop. Perhaps I should start doing it. Then, when some tubby gal walks up and says "your hairy belly sticking out of that shirt is making me sick". I could look her in the eye and say..."Ditto!"
Some years ago, Britany Spears did something that would effect the earth in ways that could not be foreseen at the time. An act, so diabolical, that we now find ourselves completely blind-sided by it's controversial reprocussions. No I'm not talking about dating Justin Timberlake. Although that was pretty awful...She wore a shirt that was just a bit too small. I know what you're thinking...So what.
I whole-heartedly admit that I was entirely in favor of the shirt. This simple twist of stylistic fate revealed the barest slice of skin and, within that, one of the most perfect navels known to man since the day the navel was invented. I think it was on the eighth day that God created the navel...And he saw the navel and it was good! And is it any wonder that young girls worldwide have taken to immitating this element of expression. And again I say bravo! I mean who doesn't like a nice navel? After a while you couldn't swing a deat cat without hitten' a gal with an exposed navel. Not since Normandy have we seen such a navel invasion!(Oh, that was bad but I just couldn't resist)
Now, I'm as willing as the next guy to allow people the freedom of expression. I had the earrings, I had the long hair, I had the blond streak, I had the ripped jeans, I used to say the word "boss". So, I have no problem with the "belly-button-gone-wild" trend. However! Somewhere along the line, the origin of this trend was forgotten. Somehow, without my knowledge or consent, the idea got out that one need not take into consideration ones weight or skin tone prior to exercizing ones right to run with a bare midrift. And, when you are sitting at an airport, and up walks a 46 year old, 175 pound, tattooed divorcee' with a four inch roll of flabby cellulite hanging out the bottom of a size 6 tee shirt emblazon with the words "I'm What You Been Lookin' For", you know something has gone horribly wrong. And there is no...navel...in...sight! I mean, she's either a clone, or that poor navel is buried way under there.
The people I really feel sorry for (no, not the guy sitten' next to her on the plane...Although that would be pretty bad) are the Indonesians. I mean, they're the ones making the shirts. They work their poor hands to the nub trying to make that 23 cent shirt fit perfectly so that Walmart can charge that fat divorcee' $24 for it. That would really burn me up. I think it is time for the maddness to stop. Perhaps I should start doing it. Then, when some tubby gal walks up and says "your hairy belly sticking out of that shirt is making me sick". I could look her in the eye and say..."Ditto!"
// posted by Chris @ Tuesday, June 22, 2004
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